Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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