I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
