i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
