does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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