I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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