I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
