shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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