I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
