Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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