hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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