So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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