I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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