I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
