he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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