everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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