Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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