Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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