The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
