her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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