I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
