i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
