im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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