Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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