doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
