I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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