We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
