before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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