hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
