I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I would ride that face into the sunset
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
