I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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