he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
