Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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