Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize