i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I enjoy the company of your penis
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
