Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
