Say something about gay babies.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
