remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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