Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
