My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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