that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
