Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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