Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
