If i come over, it means nothing
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
