So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize