I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
