Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
