Duck Duck Cougar?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
