If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
