And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
