I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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