that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
