I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize