My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
