Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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