alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
