she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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