Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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