I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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