Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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