Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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