come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
