tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
