did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
