I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
