I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
