We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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